It’s officially been over a year since starting my Mommellah project.   It’s been a great time of new beginnings and reflections of how motherhood can connect me to Jewishness.  I recently read a post about mother who is living in Israel, and after telling everyone for so many weeks that she was OK with the current conflict, decided that she is not.  It really hit me.  As a mother, I can’t even imagine being in the scene that she paints.  It makes me want to cry.  It makes me want to scream.  It makes me realize that even though I may be halfway around the world, I’m not OK either.

The other morning my husband looked at me during breakfast and asked me what was wrong.  I just can not stop thinking about what families in Israel are going through right now.  The fear, the injustice, the horror of it all.  The reality that even though Israel is defending themselves in a reasonable way, they are fighting an unreasonable enemy.  Pictures of dead children vilifying Israel, when Hamas orchestrates their deaths so the world sees Israel as a monster.   It all shakes me to my core.

I have to ask myself, why is this conflict so much more important to me than conflicts in the past?  Is it really more severe?  More publicized?  Am I more aware of what’s going on because of my new blog and dedication to my Jewish identity?  It could be it’s become more real knowing I have friends in Israel, parents that have children who I can sympathize with because of my family here.  They’re not OK.  They shouldn’t be.  I’m not either and frankly, there’s not a Jew on the planet who shouldn’t be afraid right now.

The media coverage is disgusting.  I want to believe that the people who are supportive of the Palestinian action are ignorant of the true facts and are falling in the PR trap Hamas set for us.  Unfortunately, it’s just not the case.  The events in Paris make me wonder, can there be another Holocaust?  Will there be?  My heart is heavy.  Every single day.

My Jewishness means I am connected to Israel, no matter how far away.  I must stand for Israel, or I stand for nothing.  As a Mommellah, I’m starting to realize, my duty is in teaching my kids about our history, Israel, the Holocaust and what is happening today in the Middle East and in Europe where antisemitic feelings and actions still exist.  I’m learning that being a Jewish mother goes far beyond Berit Milah, lighting Shabbos candles and changing diapers.  It’s about explaining what you can about what’s important to the future of our people.  The proud descendants of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.  Am Yisrael Chai.

May the Schwartz be with you

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