9 Signs Your Husband Will be Tolerable

Lately, I’m really loving the “list” articles you find online.  They are usually a quick and fun read.  So, of course, I had to click on one that was titled “9 Signs You’ve Found The Man You Should Make Your Husband“.  As I read through the list, I couldn’t help but notice it was most likely written by someone who was either single, a newlywed or childless.  The “signs” felt so naive and ridiculous to expect long term.

The longer I’m married, the more I realize that “the one” in the sense of “he’s always going to be a perfect fit for you forever and there will never be any hard times ahead” just doesn’t exist.  Marriage is a partnership and requires work, compromise and a ton of patience.  So here’s my altered list (working off the original) of  9 Signs Your Husband Will be Tolerable.

Elite Daily List  9 Signs You’ve Found The Man You Should Make Your Husband

Mommellah’s list 9 Signs Your Husband Will be Tolerable

1. You don’t need to be “on” in front of him. Good days and bad days, he understands who you are and doesn’t expect you to be anyone but yourself. In his eyes, you’re special by just being you.

1. You can be “on” the toilet in front of him.  He’s going to see you there anyways.  Just get it over with…

2. Your happiness is his happiness, and vice versa. The man you marry gives selflessly, as your interests are now his interests.

2. If mommellah ain’t happy, then NOBODY is happy.  You don’t have to care about each other’s interests, you just have to make sure mama is happy.

3. Even at the end of a really bad day, all you want is to be with him

3. Even at the end of a really bad day, all you want is to be with him (maybe) and a cocktail (definitely).

4. The attraction is palpable. Even doing the littlest things together, such as running to the grocery store, feel more special because he’s around.

4. The attraction grows directly in proportion to the amount of chores he helps you with, including the grocery shopping.

5. You want to share every experience with him. From what he ate for lunch to what he’s currently watching on television, you’re interested in all that he does.

5. You want to share certain things with him.  He can eat whatever he wants for lunch, but he better not watch Game of Thrones without you.

6. You have the same idea of romance. Sometimes you feel like you’re in a “Twilight” movie with all this inexplicable magic and love buzzing around.

6. As long as you’re still shtooping in the twilight, you’re good.

7. You love more than you fight. It never feels good to fight because you care too much about him to hurt him. (insert gagging sound here)

7. You fight until he sees the error of his ways and apologizes.  You care too much for you to both be wrong.

8. He not only listens to you, but he also hears what you’re saying

8. He listens enough to follow directions and not screw up.

9. He accepts you as you are. He knows everything about you — good and bad — and appreciates both because it’s all part of who you are.

9. He accepts you as you are. You’re messier, louder and maybe less funny, but he loves you for it.  This last one, I’m totally agreeing with.

Because at the end of the day, nobody is perfect.  Not you, or your husband and everyone is a little bit crazy.  You just have to find the right crazy for you.

Jewish-wedding

May the Schwartz be with you

One costume to rule them all

So I’ve come to an abrupt and permanent decision. I truly want to only wear one costume for the rest of my adult life. Luckily for me, it is perfectly appropriate for both Purim and Halloween! I am forevermore going to be the queen, Queen Esther.

Now besides the fact that I can easily slap on a elaborate tiara and continue to go about my business with my normal clothes on is only part of the reason this is my new decision. Don’t get me wrong, not having to worry about what you’re going to wear or how long you’re going to wear for holidays when you have multiple kids is most definitely an awesome bonus. I want to be Queen Esther (and a queen in general) for every holiday because of how heroic and smart she is.

For those of you that know Esther as a Jew who won a beauty contest and was forced into being a queen, all of that may be true.  But more importantly, she is the hero of the Purim story, she is the one who saves the Jewish people! She was the one who decided to throw the feast and gain the kings favor. The wisdom and strategic action along with her cunning rhetoric saved our people!  She is the hero and frankly, the world needs more female heroes. I will be proud to make it my one and only for years to come.

So the only thing left to do is for me to find an appropriate crown!

Crown

May the Schwartz be with you!